


The End Of Days.

by xTheJackalx



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Acceptance, F/M, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1442959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xTheJackalx/pseuds/xTheJackalx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU In which my Warden became Queen of Ferelden. Set in 9:57 Dragon, she looks back on her life as she faces the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End Of Days.

**Author's Note:**

> This just sort of came to me one day. Loosely based off of the lyrics to "Ireland" by Garth Brooks. I thought it would be more appropriate to use my first favourite Warden to tell the tale, even though she didn't romance Alistair; thus wasn't Queen, and wasn't so cold. It was an option I considered, and IF I had gone down that path, I'm sure this is where she would've ended up.

Mathillda Cousland took a moment to contemplate her life as a warden. For 27 years she had been Ferelden's 'Commander Of The Grey', even though the title was for the most part, honourary and hollow; Bethany Hawke her second-in-command, a very talented mage, and a dear friend really led the Ferelden wardens. Mathillda only assumed the role when she needed to be seen leading. That's not to say that Mathillda had grown bored with the Warden life, but ruling a country alongside her beloved idiot took work, and Queen Mathillda Therin-Cousland took her duty to her country very seriously.

For a brief moment she allowed her mind to wander to Alistair and her daughters back home, wondering if she'd ever see them again. Probably not, it hurt too much to think about. She pushed it to the back of her mind and returned to her original chain of thought, she concluded that for the most part, she'd been a terrible Commander and a disloyal Warden. She sighed and thought 'Shit happens, I can still die a hero.'

She came back to reality and Herria, a (very) young Warden mage staring over at her, the mage looked away politely when Mathillda came back from her dream world. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare" the young Warden managed to spit out, "It's just that you're, well, you know, you. The woman who took on an Arch-Demon and lived, you're a legend."

Mathillda knew there was a lot more she was known for that killing the arch demon half a lifetime ago, but it was nice to hear someone bring up something that showed one of her better sides (even though she manipulated her fiance into screwing a blood mage to save her own life). She gave a weak smile "That was long before your time I imagine."

"There's plenty of books at the Circle, Your Highness." Herria replied in good nature.

The Queen nodded as she gave the girl a better look. Apart from being in good athletic condition she was quite pretty, with hazel eyes and long golden curls tied back in a pink bow. The bow was what drew Mathillda's attention more than anything else, as she admired a woman who could maintain her femininity and still match it with the men. She sighed as she realized this was another point in life where she had let herself down, for as long as she could remember she was trying to copy Fergus in every way. He was not exactly the best role-model for a young girl, to say the least. She realized, when she saw those quizzical hazel eyes looking her over that she must have drifted off again. The Warden-Warrior-Queen gave an apologetic nod of the head to her companion, which the mage returned with a warm smile. "How old are you anyway my dear?" Mathillda asked, almost kindly.

"F-Fifteen, Your Highness" she replied with a timid smile.

Two years younger than her at joining, much too young. It didn't change the pang of jealousy she felt every time someone out-did her (intentionally or not) that shaped her next comment. "Just how long have you been a Warden? And stop with that 'Your Highness' crap. Here and now, I am a Warden, not a Queen, you should refer to me as Commander." Mathillda snapped, in her overly-pronounced Ferelden noblewoman accent. Sounding just as harsh as she had intended. She'd always been an "unpleasant bitch" (to quote her husband). She saw no need to change that simply because they were all about to die. If the mage wanted a friend she could find someone else.

The girl shied away like she'd been slapped, but still managed her most commanding voice in reply. "Going on 2 weeks, Commander."

Despite not wanting to be, Mathillda was impressed with the girl. She loved to test people, and the young girl holding her cool, whilst being snapped at by her superior she had obviously admired, was a definite pass in her books. She was about to reply (maybe even with something nice) when a familiar voice cut through the air, like a dull chainsaw through glass.

"Mage!" He bellowed, without waiting for a response he kept yelling, as was his style, "If the woman's awake, send her in."

"Yes High Constable!" Herria snapped back, her previous cool obviously abandoning her. She did not care for the man at all, and aired her distaste in her tone. Then turning back to Mathillda her poker-face and cool demeanor returned. "Can you walk?"

"Yes, I think so." Mathillda said, caught a little off guard by the split-second change. She had noticed that her leg was actually in pretty good shape, though, especially after being crushed in the battle before. "I suppose I have you to thank for that?"

"Mmm-hmm." She hummed in agreement, and continued with "Well the High Constable wants to see you." and with that the healer got up and walked out without so much as a second glance at the Commander. Mathillda was even further impressed with the woman's attitude.

After getting to her feet she tried to brace herself for what was to come, but when she walked in to the room and saw that Oghren, her old friend, and now her superior in the Warden ranks was on the brink of death, for he was gaunt and pale but sweating like no tomorrow in a pool of blood and other bodily fluids, with the smell of death lingering in the cold night air, no amount of bracing in the world could prepare her. Her lip trembled as she did her best to maintain composure. She went to say something, anything, to break the silence but he spared her the pain.

"Oh, save it Commander" he grumbled, and after a moments silence he spoke again, strained and soft "We've said goodbye to one another a hundred times over the years, now that I'm actually dying, goodbyes are the last sodding thing I want to hear."

Looking harder at the wound, through the moonlight she finally noticed that he was literally holding his insides in with his hand, and although she knew it was futile she had to offer "Would you like me to fetch Herria for you?"

Oghren just grunted. There was no love lost between the man who had risen to the second highest rank of the order and the young healer he had known less than one month.

After more silence she asks the question that's burning at her "Why did you send her to me? You're so much more important to the wardens. I'm a relic, it's common knowledge that I'm a shithouse Warden, you're..." she was cut off by a sob that sounded almost alien to her, she hadn't cried (for good or bad) in what felt like forever, probably not since Highever fell.

"Commander, there's an Arch-Demon at the door. You're the only sodding fool crazy enough to take one on. Those damned blighters need a leader." Oghren tried.

But they knew one another better than that, and they shared a look that meant they both acknowledged and saw through the lie. They both knew that he was just as capable, if not more-so of leading a resistance than she was. But with only one healer in the party to survive the initial darkspawn ambush she had to focus her efforts on one of them. Oghren needed more attention than her, but, if Herria had saved Oghren, they'd of had to amputate her crushed leg for certain. He had given his life to allow for her to die with dignity.

Even though if she were conscious the Queen never would've allowed them to sacrifice Oghren for her. He was a bastard of a man, a poor father, an alcoholic and an grub, but a damn fine killer, this is why he rose so high in the Warden ranks and probably why they were such close friends. Mathillda admits to herself that in his situation, she would've made the same decision. She managed a weak "Thank you" although she was choked up. Her tears fell silently for now. She was about to lose the best friend she'd ever had. There was nothing left to say.

With great effort Oghren smiled his giant toothy grin she'd come to love over the years and casually reminded her "When that sun rises, you're dead, you know that right?"

She did. The ruins would only hide them from the horde while they had the cover of darkness, even now she knew the bastards had them surrounded, but with no light, the traps in the old Warden outpost were highly efficient. It won't matter in five hours, the dawn would certainly bring their deaths, when they were able to see the majority of the traps. She still managed a hint of humor, "I don't know about that, what's another Arch Demon, killed one, killed them all right?"

This made them both laugh, how in Andraste's name could anyone of expected another Blight so soon after the last one? Their shared dark sense of humor kept them close over the years. But as Oghren's laughs descended in to a fit of violent blood-spiting coughs and spurts, the room turned somber again and he whispered "This wasn't exactly how I expected to go you know." This was the first time she'd ever heard a hint of fear in his voice.

The guilt that she felt after that comment was borderline unbearable _._

_It'd been her suggestion that the two of them go for 'an expedition' while Oghren was visiting Ferelden. The Dwarf jumped at the chance, stating they should go 'all out' and check the new found chasm that probably lead to the deep roads in the Antivan wild lands. His status would allow them to check out the chasm without having to include the Antivan Wardens. Mathillda was so pleased with the idea she immediately told Alistair that she was leaving, he knew she was ailing, but let her go as he knew he couldn't stop her anyway._  
  
 _With a plan set Bethany lent them a few young Wardens so they could get a taste of battle, most of them just wanted to impress the High Constable and Hero of Ferelden, even though Bethany had called them all foolish, Mathillda was sure that Bethany had been a little jealous. The party sailed out of Denerim on Isabella's ship three days later, having everyone in Denerim at one time was so exciting. This was perfect, this would be her last mission before she undertook her Calling, she just wanted one last taste of perfect battle._

_The reality had been anything but perfect. They snuck into Antiva like refugees and almost all of their supplies had dwindled away, by the time they finally found the damned chasm they'd lost two Wardens and faced some well prepared darkspawn, it was hard to believe that remnants of Urthemiel's army still existed, but 5 years ago Bethany's party took out another pocket of darkspawn resistance, which were led by thinking darkspawn, so it was not entirely unfeasible. But by the time they finally reached the chasm, it was over-run, and at the head of the horde flew the great dragon Razikale - the Sixth Blight had begun._

_Oghren and Mathillda's minds were already half mad from carrying the taint for so long, she often heard the call of the two remaining Old Gods even though they were safely buried, or so she thought. She had dismissed the call from Razikale as advanced paranoia, so she was completely caught off guard, as was Oghren judging by the look on his face. Their party was ripped to shreds by the horde, and in the retreat an ogre pinned her to the wall with a boulder, that was when she blacked out._

_She knew exactly where she was when she awoke. The tales of this outpost were Grey Warden legend, it was one of the most defensible building in all of Thedas. Although the Wardens eventually had to abandon it, throughout the Qunari wars it was a strategic strongpoint for the Antivan army. Somehow they'd made it to safety but with only 7 Wardens remaining, including her and Oghren they'd never be able to keep all of the traps going. They could hold off for a time but eventually this old outpost would be their tomb_.

After a while in silence, the time had come. Oghren looked at her, then at her blade sitting on her lap. "I always knew you'd be the death of me Cousland."

It did not surprise her, but still she wished she didn't have to. But this was helping a friend in pain, she could do this. She resisted the urge for a sappy goodbye speech and rested the tip of her long-sword against his temple, they clasped hands and she prepared for the thrust but hesitated when he called her name.

"Mathillda." It was the first time in 27 years of friendship that he had called her by her first name, she looked at him in bewilderment and in his eyes she saw a fierce determination. "Give those sodding blighters hell tomorrow, if you've gotta go take that demon with you."

"Of course." It was a false promise, one she couldn't possibly keep, but this was her friend and she couldn't let him die without promising him something that would make him feel better. He nodded, and she thrusted. It wasn't pretty but it was quick. Then there was 6, and she the leader.

She took a moment, and kissed her recently deceased friend on his forehead. He was another casualty of her friendship. She'd lost so much over the years, unwillingly images of the dead swam before her, friends and foes; her whole household of Highever, Duncan, Branka, Wynne, Rendon Howe, Flemeth, Anora, Anders, her nephew and sister-in-law, The Arishok who she knew as Sten, Morrigan, Leliana, Cailan, Sigrun, Oghren, Her mother and father, Jak - her faithful Mabari, The Architect, Urthemiel, and countless others finally stopping with Loghain Mac Tir. Loghain was to this day her greatest rival, there was some nights she wished she could resurrect him just to kill him again, but that was simply because she saw so much of herself in him.

Loghain did everything in his power to rise to the his position, as had she, and as he was raised from peasant to high nobilty, she went from high nobility to God-status. They were both cut-throat negotiators and power mad fools. Their battle styles were the same, massive armour, sword and shield, champions. Even the braids down the sides of their faces. Yet, the only redeeming quality she saw in Loghain was his patriotism, he was as proud a patriot as she'd ever seen, and for that she admired him.

Images of Ferelden came to her, her beautiful homeland, the rolling fields of green and fences made of stone in the countryside. Highever, where she grew up, still the most beautiful castle she'd ever seen, Denerim and the palace that was her home now, the second best castle she'd ever seen, Vigil's Keep where the Wardens had erected a statue of her, even the dead city of Amaranthine that she personally burnt to the ground. Despite it's flaws of 'smelling like wet dog' and being a little cold, she considered herself blessed to have lived her 44 years in the most beautiful land she could imagine, and she took solace in the fact that, as soon as dawn hit, the battle would rage, she would fall and then she'd be home.

She gave a quick thought to her beautiful daughters, she knew they'd make it in the world. Brenda would be a wonderful Queen, and Ellie would take over the now vacant Terynir of Gwaren. (As Teryna Anora met an unfortunate end, (due to an old Elven friend) after one of her failed rebellions.) Yes, they were still young, but they'd be successful women, they were more like her than Alistair, which she was thankful for, but both girls had inherited his kindness, for which she thanked Andraste every day. Alistair would follow her soon, his own taint wouldn't spare him much more, so she need not worry too much about him. But she said a small prayer for their safety.

With the thoughts of Ferelden and her family making her more determined then ever, Mathillda walked out to the remaining five Wardens, from young Herria to the hulking mass that was Raven - he was the one that pulled the boulder off her and got her here safely, every eye in the room was trained on her. She announced that the High Constable was dead, and the unit was now under her command.

Raven just nods and says "Aye, now what?"

Mathillda just looks at them, her band of the ragged, tired and torn, she simply says "We're not waiting until the dawn."  
  
A nod in agreement from all of the five is all they need, they gather their respective weapons and head for the entrance where the Sixth Blight and certain death awaits them.

As the six of them stand at the entrance to the fortress they give one another a look that simply says 'goodbye'. As the grand doors open to the dark night Mathillda screams her famous battle cry.

...Her last thoughts were of Ferelden.

**Author's Note:**

> I intend on writing a story about her, in my actual head-canon (not AU) very soon, any suggestions would be welcome.
> 
> Also, I'll be doing a bigger story where The Hero, The Champion and The Inquisitor all travel together, but this will be after Inquisition.
> 
> This story was just to break the ice and publish my first fic. The idea wouldn't leave me alone.


End file.
